Archive for August, 2013

Why I want to study anthropology.

I am 19 years old, and I am strange.  There is really no way to avoid that fact. I started reading when I was three years old, and not a day has passed since where I have gazed into only one world.

At six years old, when asked about my friends, I would begin speaking about Harry and Hermione. I loved these fictional characters, and I truly believed that what I had with my books was friendship. I felt safe reading or observing people, but relationships with them where overwhelming to me. I do not if I was not properly socialized, or if I just lack some sort of innate understanding other human beings, but in a sense I am afraid of them.

I find people fascinating because I am one, and yet at times, even my own culture seems so foreign to me. I often do things that are considered socially unacceptable. I don’t always understand when I am supposed to keep a secret, or if I am expected to lie about a topic rather than speak the truth and I definitely don’t have the appropriate filters.

I don’t know how to behave, although I do understand many of the social expectations. i just don’t find them natural like many others do. I enjoy observing others. Something, which many find unsettling. The last time I had sex, I freaked out the man because I was watching him during to see if he reacted in the way described in my human sexuality textbook.  It wasn’t that I wasn’t enjoying myself, but even while participating in activities, i seek to understand them. I’m sure by now you’ve realized that I was not kidding with the who “no filter” thing I mentioned earlier either.

For a long time, I’ve tried to be “normal” and now I realize that it will never happen. One because normal doesn’t exist, every culture is different and people are extremely complex. The way we behave is due to our background, or needs and what we have convinced yourself is desirable.  And let’s be honest guys, the ideal here in America is too complex for anyone to try to fulfill. In our media we see women that physically alter their appearance and appear submissive and often unintelligent.  In reality, women have just as much pressure on them as their male counterparts to be successful, with the added pressure of being physically desirable as well. It’s too much. I don’t understand what is expected from me, or desire, and I’m sure most other young women don’t either. Our culture is warped, and the minds of our people are unhealthy because of it. I want to study our culture and others so that I can help people, and in the long run help myself.